


Dust To Dust

by Merlin_OhMy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Boyfriends, Fluff and Angst, Homecoming, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post Captain America:Civil War, Post-Canon Fix-It, Protective Tony Stark, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-16 13:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13637067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlin_OhMy/pseuds/Merlin_OhMy
Summary: After Steve's last mission went FUBAR, he comes home an angry, lost, and broken man Tony doesn't recognize.  Steve can't weight of the world alone his shoulders any longer. Together, Steve and Tony are determined to forge a new way home.You've held your head upYou've fought the fightYou bear the scarsYou've done your timeListen to meYou've been lonely, too longLet me in the wall, you've built aroundAnd we can light a match and burn them downAnd let me hold your hand and dance 'round and 'round the flamesIn front of usDust to dust-The Civil Wars, Dust to Dust





	Dust To Dust

Sam could only relay the situation as FUBAR (fucked up beyond all recognition)over the phone. During an attempt to recover data from a former Hydra base, Steve had found a series of tapes with audio transcriptions. Years of Bucky being tormented and expirmented captured on film.

 

It’s safe to say Steve didn’t take it well. Despite their attempts to talk Steve down, Rogers went on an epic, stupid revenge showdown. For over a week, he spent his days covered in the blood of his enemies as he tried to avenge Bucky. 

 

His anger and raw pain only magnified when he under covered Ross' top secret plans to launch another Super Solider program. If America’s golden son wouldn’t carry his shield for them, Ross would have him replaced.

 

The United States using his blood samples to recreate the serum was the final straw.

 

Tony's throat went dry as he watched his tall,blond boyfriend struct down the stairs of the airplane.Steve carried himself with a fierce, dominating presence. Tony couldn't take his eyes off of him. He was different than the last time Tony saw him in Siberia all those months ago. Steve's entire swagger suggested he was angry, hurting, with a roaring fire of his hurt consuming him. 

 

It was like Steve was in his true form, a wild mustang untameable and easily spooked. Maybe he never really was Tony's in the first place, the genius thinks.

 

Maybe Steve has always been wild, unpredictable and fierce. It's entirely possible Tony has misread the former Captain's true self. He never saw the darkness and desperation in Steve's soul before they went toe to toe in battle. It's likely Steve has been lost for such a long time, wondering in the darkness unable to achieve absolution. Salvation out of reach for St. Steve, the martyr  as he doned the mask of Captain America.

 

Tony knew of Steve's endless stubbornness and unwavering commitment to do the right thing. But not even the history books could capture his indomitable spirit, and Tony isn't sure if he should laugh or cry.

 

It brings him a warm fondness to think about Rogers being 5'4, barely 100 pounds and taking on world's injustice. His tiny fists up held up as Steve fights another impossible battle so damn sure with his 'I can do this all day.' attitude.

 

But it breaks Tony's heart to remember what it's like to fight your best friend and watch him walk away.

 

 _It's not like you gave him much choice_ , Tony reminds himself.

 

Tony tries to take in the sight of Steve before he wakes up from this impossible dream. Steve not only carries himself differently, but he looks like a whole another person.

 

His hair is long, messy, and falls past his ears. The solider sports a full beard, and his face is still bruised from recent fighting. His skin is golden and tan, unnatural for the usually pale skin of his Irish-Catholic forebears.

 

Tony's entire heart aches seeing the blank, lost, and desperate gaze in Steve's eyes, no light in his beautiful blue eyes. Tony wishes he could understand the weight of what Steve has been through these last few months. He could never get a word about of Steve about himself or how Barnes was doing.

 

Steve did talk about his long hikes in the jungle, his art, Wankadan culture, and how the others were doing. But never about how his own damn self was doing. 

 

"Can I hug you?", Tony asks, not wanting to spook Steve before he even has him home.

 

 

"Yes.", Steve says barely above, so quiet and careful with a softness Tony didn't realize his stubborn boyfriend was capable of.

 

Steve is skittish and anxious about being touched, it almost makes Tony regret asking for a hug. But he eventually melts into Tony's touch, molding himself into the other man's arms. Steve doesn't want to let go, he blinks away silent tears, and just lets himself be held. 

 

“Tony.”, Steve sounds breathless, all his words and thoughts gone with the loud thumps of his heart. God, he wants to puke. Or cry. Maybe just kiss Tony before he realizes dating Steve Rogers is a critical mistake and kicks him out of his life.

 

Steve can’t breathe, his chest constricts, and he desperately wants to gasp for air. He feels fifteen again, sick and tiny with ineffective lungs that ever seem to allow him to catch his breath. He’s on the verge of full blast panic and Tony seems to pick up on it.

 

_Don’t screw this up, Rogers. You had a good thing with Tony. Stop kidding yourself, he probably hates your guts._

 

“Steve?.”, Tony says urgently, trying to draw Steve’s attention back to the real world.

 

Steve feels small, vulnerable, like he’s 5’4 and barely 100 pounds again. He can’t make himself look at Tony. Steve’s entire body shakes like a leaf. He’s terrified, Tony realizes, and immediately takes Steve’s massive hands in his.

 

Steve feels the warmth of Tony’s hand against his, soon Tony’s holding him, and Steve’s head is nested against Tony’s chest. All the tension and anxiety from his body uncoils as he loses himself in Tony’s arms

 

He didn’t realize the weight of the world he carried heavily on his shoulders until the dam broke and the tears flooded him. Steve cried into Tony’s shoulder, letting himself being held and comforted. He didn’t have to be Captain America, he’s just Steve, scared, nervous, and hurting. He just wants to get off this roller coaster and go home. The unbelievable thing is Steve heard Tony say they're going home.

 

 

"We can go home now, Steve."

 

 

  _Home_

Home is waking up next to Tony in bed, wrapped around the genius stealing a few uncoordinated, messy kisses. Home is watching the spark of brilliance in Tony's eye as he works in the lab. Steve's favorite place to sketch is by far in the way, naturally drawing and capture his favorite subject, his boyfriend.  Home is knowing that Tony doesn't mind holding Steve when the weight of the world is too much.

 

Home is not a place.

 

 

Home is not Brooklyn.

 

 

Home is Tony Stark. 

 

For once in his life, Steve doesn't fight or try to be brave. 

 

 

"I'd really like to go home, Tony.", he whispered. 

 

  
"You can go home, Steve."

 

"Promise?"  
  


 

"Always, pal."

 

Steve shared a soft smile with Tony before letting the genius wrap his arm around him, guiding him towards the car.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't decided if I'm going to add additional chapters to this ficlet.


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